What are some funny and smart quotes?

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

Is it possible for sociopaths to feel genuine remorse for their actions or thoughts towards others, even if they are skilled at hiding it from others?

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

Overthinking is killing me day-by-day. What should I do?

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

Can you fly an American flag in the UK in your own private property there? What is the UK’s government stance on that? And if yes, do you also have to fly the UK flag or the American flag can fly solo?

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”